This year was even more different than the first Christmas without Mom. That was a sad one with a clear focus on what was causing the grief. This one? I’m not sure why this one turned me the color of the classic Elvis Blue Christmas. It wasn’t the lack of Christmas trees because I had three in my relatively small apartment.
It wasn’t the lack of Christmas goodies because the apartment smelled like cookies baking for the two weeks heading into Christmas.
It wasn’t because my space was silent. I employed both the iHeart radio app and YouTube to keep various renditions of Christmas classics blasting as much as I could stand.
I suppose it was ultimately the lack of community that colored my Christmas this year. Both of my sisters and one of my nieces have had covid this year and while all of them lived through it I have been trying very hard to avoid testing the strength of my own immune system. I also work in a healthcare office so I’m hoping not to be given days off to self-isolate for any reason. So, while there is one person inside my bubble and another who is, for all practical purposes, there as well, it will end up being the quietest holiday I’ve spent in memory.
Even thought the 3 Covid-19 cases I am closest to had an easy time of Covid-19, I do get how important it is to try to control this pandemic. As of now, 333,000 lives have been claimed by Covid-19 in the US alone. And even when there is a significant percentage of the population taking the disease seriously and listening to medical professionals, rather than a few uninformed government officials, things are not improving. There are hospitals that have had to put up tents or expand into make-shift emergency care facilities because they are over-whelmed with covid-19 patients.
So I’ll take my blue Christmas and learn from it. I’ll learn how to celebrate and connect with people in new and safe ways. I’ll continue to be thankful for who and what is important in my life. And I’ll look forward to a future that will be brighter and once again more open for friends, family, and travel. If I’ve learned anything in my life it is that after a huger disruption, nothing returns to the same as it was. There is not a “back to normal”, but there is always a “new normal”, which for better or worse, has to suffice.
