Max, a calming entity for those with trepidation, fear or phobia.

Max came to us as a six year old champion that needed a change of scenery. He was the perfect age, right between our two year old Whippet and our sixteen year old Italian Greyhound. The two year old had recently lost his fifteen year old Whippet playmate and all of us needed a “pack” addition. We knew Max was special from the start and as he came out of his shell and got to know us we realized what a calming presence he was.

When my father went into memory care, right before hospice, Max visited him with me every week. Not only would Max lay by Dad and stretch his body to touch Dad along his entire side as Dad lay and listened to the rest of us visit and read, but before and after the visit with Dad, Max would entertain the rest of the staff and residents in the twelve unit wing where Dad was staying. One resident, Lisa, loved dogs, but could not care for her own anymore. She would take Max by the collar and lead him around the wing. Every once in a while he would look back at me, wondering if I needed him, but would continue with Lisa until I went to get him or until she let go of his leash. Lisa also had a buddy in the unit, Rob, that used to raise “police” dogs, in his words. He was relatively new to the facility as a resident and would often become agitated at how difficult it seemed to be for him to leave the place (he wasn’t able to leave as he was a resident and simply couldn’t remember it). The staff really liked to see Max come because no matter how difficult things were with Rob, when Max showed up he forgot all his frustrations and could not say enough about how well trained Max was as he praised his calm manner around people.

Therapy dog 01

Both of Max’s pack-leader parents go to work in a dental office all day. Trish is a five year old patient. The last time that she was at the dentist she had two baby teeth extracted. While it was done relatively pain free and simply, she associated those missing teeth with going to the dentist and was not particularly interested in another visit, no matter who promised fun flavors and simple procedures. She came in nervous and clinging to her parent. When Dr. Amble asked if she liked dogs she simply gave a single nod of her head, so he suggested that she might like to meet one of the office mascots. When Max came down the stairs he quietly came up to Trish. His head was basically at the same height as hers, so with his head bent down he gave her just a little peek out of the corner of his left eye. When all she did was look back at him he kept twisting his head until he was lying flat on his right side in front of her with his chest and tummy pointed toward her. It was really sweet and Trish finally reached out to greet him. He totally turned it around for her and before we knew it she was smiling as she ran down the hallway to her appointment which, by the way, went fine.

Therapy dog 02 Therapy dog 03 Therapy dog 04

Just because you are an adult doesn’t mean that a dental appointment doesn’t give you the butterflies, either. Max is never adverse to saying “Hi”, offering a reassuring head to pet, or even in some cases, spending a few minutes giving an all-out body hug.
Max has calmed many a patient prior to their visit, some during their visit, and even a few more after their visit. He and the rest of his dog pack spend the majority of their working days on the second floor snoozing, scoring treats and chasing tennis balls around the business manager’s office and the break room.

Beautiful Pleasure

Once there was a much loved Mother that gave birth to a son.

He was beautiful and round and brown and soft and she loved him so.
He cried and he suckled and he smiled and he suckled some more.
As he suckled she thought to herself “I shall call him Beautiful Pleasure, because he brings me pleasure and he is beautiful.”

The son grew, happy in the shadow of his mother, constantly aware of his surroundings and gentle in his heart.
His life was like a train ride with some track smooth, some bumpy and some so rough that the cars seemed as they would be bounced apart.

As happens sometimes in life, the rough parts overtook the smooth and the gentle soul was snatched out of the son’s body, leaving only a husk, with no promises of return.
The husk was not allowed to die, nor was it allowed to live…exactly.

Through it all, the much loved Mother never quit her Beautiful Pleasure and the husk never lost all the oils that had once made it smooth and soft.

When the land helped smooth the rails again, as nature has a habit of doing, the gentle soul slowly resurfaced.
Renewed, and still gentle, but with a stronger covering, the boy sprouted and grew and survived and overcame and succeeded.
Now he was again beautiful and round and brown and soft.

But now he also had a fire light shining within him.
Sometimes it burned blue and soft, while other times it burned red and hot.
It wasn’t always controllable, but it was always true.

The much loved Mother, who thought of her Beautiful Pleasure often, but saw him not, was able to feel the fire light.
Most often it warmed her, but indeed, even she was scorched at times.

When she felt the scorch, she said, “My beautiful, round, brown and soft acquired a rocket that will not be tied down.”

And together they smiled, in their hearts, knowing and loving each other well.

Copyright 2012

A Celebration of Christmas

Here are a few offerings for this Christmas Celebration. Mom and I celebrated and sang some of Dad’s favorite carols.

White Christmas

Santa Baby

The Hanover Winter Song

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Blessings also for other past and future celebrations: Winter Solstice, Pancha Ganapati festival, Yule, Kwanzaa, Chanukah

Special Holiday Treats

I remember when I was a kid eating lefsa with butter and sugar during the “holiday season”. At that time, the season was a couple of weeks long, or maybe the entire month between Thanksgiving and Christmas, at the most. As with so many things these days, there seems to be “holiday season creep”, and lefsa is available in stores earlier and earlier. That doesn’t mean I eat more of it, but somehow it does seem to make it less special.

Most of the people that made the lefsa I ate as a child have passed away, so my search for high quality, soft, fresh lefsa is made more difficult. I will say this though, Church holiday bazaars and bake sales are the places to hang out if you’re looking for fresh…find the oldest, Norwegian looking person’s table and investigate their wares.

I admit, I already purchased my lefsa for this year from that secret church bazaar that I have gone to for many years. In truth, I couldn’t tell exactly who made which packages this year because the organizers put all the lefsa packages together in a single bin. I had to buy with no knowledge of the baker! Luckily, one of the packages I received contained two of the freshest pieces of lefsa…yummy!

There are a few different ways people eat lefsa, but my favorite is the simple way. Butter it up, sprinkle with white sugar, roll and enjoy.

Send me pictures and descriptions of your favorite holiday treat and I’ll publish it here as well.

Sinking of the Edmond Fitzgerald

There have been a lot of boats and ships that have met with trouble on Lake Superior. Growing up on another reasonably large Minnesota lake, Lake of the Woods, gave me a lot of respect for large bodies of water and what the weather could create in conjunction with them.

The 2012 Anniversary of the Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald

This year I was in Lutsen, MN on the anniversary of the sinking of the Edmond Fitzgerald and spent a little time around the lake. It was cold and windy, probably nothing like the actual day the great ship went down in 1975, but certainly impressive for anyone contemplating a water excursion.

I’m not sure I knew that the Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Company was the owner of the Edmond Fitzgerald. There are a lot of other interesting facts and lore at attic.areavoices.com Split Rock lighthouse was lit up on this anniversary again to honor the day and the lives lost in this inland sea disaster.

Of course Gordon Lightfoot also immortalized The Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald in song the next year, 1976. Its classic and moving folk music and very popular still, especially in the iron range and arrowhead regions of Minnesota. If you haven’t heard the song, there are several versions out there on YouTube…here’s one.

Lakes and water have been important and influential to me my entire life. Lake Superior’s arrowhead region has a special hold on my imagination and my heart.

A trip down memory lane…

I spent a lot of time in churches this past weekend. I went to Sioux Falls, SD with my mother and partner, Paul, primarily to attend the celebration of the finished life of a good friend’s mother.

This friend, let’s call her Cammy, has always brought feelings of “it’s a small world” and “six degrees of separation” into my mind. I met her about 15 years ago at the very liberal church I attend in St. Paul, MN. She is PhD musician, stunning blond and stands straight and tall at 6’1″. She was married to an even taller black man and has three friendly, statuesque children with him. The reason I think it is a small world is because her father was a pastor (he has passed away) and just happened to be the pastor at my Mom’s home church in Renner, SD. Cammy spent many years at that church and was married there by her father. At the time, this didn’t go over very well, especially with some of my relatives, for reasons I’ll let you imagine. Cammy’s father also buried my grandfather (my mother’s father) and Mom never forgot the wonderful service he performed for her dad.

Cammy’s mother’s service was at St. Mark’s Lutheran in Sioux Falls, where her parents attended for the last 10 or 12 years. It was so clear how much her mother brought to these people and how she and Cammy’s father embodied the very meaning of Matthew 25:31-46.

Mom, Paul and I also visited the home church, West Nidaros Lutheran Church in Renner, SD. This was originally a successful farming based church that has made the transition of farming and suburban community church. It was probably appropriate that there was a baptism, or celebration of new life, during that service. There were lots of friendly faces, many of which were related to Mom and I. We visited the replica church built in honor of the original Nidaros in Norway, the log cabin of relatives, moved and rebuilt to emphasize the roots of the church and, of course, the grave markers for my grandparents, uncle and aunt on Mom’s side of the family.

Lastly, we drove by Mom’s home place, which is still in the family, but rented out. The owner makes sure the place is well maintained and beautiful.

When I go back to my grandparents place, the church they attended or the family reunions organized by those left around Renner, SD, I am reminded how far and wide is a family. I talked to 2nd, 3rd and 4th cousins after church and thought about how we are all connected through blood, gospel, friendship, race, sexual orientation, etc.

So many family members, so little time. Now that I’m 53, I think even more often about not wasting  my precious time avoiding, criticizing or hating people that are family in so many senses of the word. The world has plenty of haters, what it needs is more lovers.

A review of “Standing On Ceremony – The Gay Marriage Plays” directed by Wendy Knox

I attended a production of “Standing on Ceremony, The Gay Marriage Plays” on Saturday, June 9, 2012 with my partner, Paul, and two good friends of ours, Jim and Diane. The play is a series of eleven one act shorts, by eleven different, talented writers. The set was very simple, but effectively used. Because of the simple set, the play relied heavily on the actor’s ability to create character, emotion, time and place with the written words. All of them did this well, and several did it extremely well. The director, Wendy Knox of Frank Theatre, did a marvelous job with this collection, creating an evening of various forms of discussion between actors, bringing important points around gay marriage arguments home with humor, wit and poignancy.

 There were three male actors and three female actors playing various roles in the eleven scenes. There was only one scene, called “On Facebook” by Doug Wright–he won a Tony for Best Play for his 2004, “I Am My Own Wife”, find the link to my review for this show here–that used all five actors at once. This scene was one of my favorites because I am such a social media addict! Who hasn’t seen that uncomfortable conversation thread that makes you want to jump in and state your hard developed philosophy in short snippets and emoji faces?

“The Marriage is Saved” by Joe Keenan, was another favorite with an especially strong performance by Aimee K. Bryant. “The Gay Agenda” by Paul Rudnick was full of spunk, rhetoric and emotion. “London Mosquitoes” by Moises Kaufman brought tears to the eyes of many, and the final scene, “Pablo & Andrew at the Altar of Words” by Jose Rivera had some of the most beautifully written, vision producing, poetry of love I have heard in quite a while.

If you are a supporter of Gay Marriage, or maybe if you are on the fence and would like a lively evening of fun with thought thrown in, please try to catch one of the final performances of this play on June 14, 15 and 16.

Memorial Day – 2012

Paul and I have been together for more than 26 years now. Our families have been, and  continue to be, very important to us. Luckily for both of us, they are also all physically close. Our parents and siblings spent the past 15 or so years all within 45 minutes of each other. As our siblings have grown up, their kids are now the ones that are going out into the world to conquer and improve.

Amazingly, to me anyway, in those 26 years I have never participated in the Memorial Day weekend drive to the cemeteries to maintain plots, clean headstone, lay flowers and pay respects. It was simply never part of my families tradition because my parents lived 500 some miles away from their family. It was impossible to do, therefore was never done.

Now that Dad has passed away and his ashes are at Fort Snelling, I decided to go with them this year. Of course the weather was awful this morning and we only got to two of the four locations, but what a wonderful experience. Five of us out in the rain with brushes, knives, grass trimmers, water buckets, flowers, etc. There was laughing and telling of stories. From past years everyone knew their particular job…mine was to stand by under an umbrella and look wet, but I still really enjoyed the time. We will go and visit the last two sites tomorrow and I’ll add the pictures when we do.

It surprises me how long I wait to accept a new tradition, but I’m glad to have done it at last. May all the people visiting be granted peace and all the people being visited rest in peace.

Our first stop:

Our second stop:

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Paul and I got up early and visited Dad’s ashes at the Columbarium at Fort Snelling National Cemetery. I was reminded of what a lovely, peaceful place this is.

The full inscription below the dates reads “Husband Dad Grandpa”.